LETTERS

[antitrust]

If you have something to drop into the suggestion box, this is where it goes! Either shoot me a link to the comment/thread where it was done ICly, or comment directly with whatever it is you'd like to send off!

Comments screened for privacy; no reading each other's private mail without permission, after all.

Comments

[zomgboom]

[and then, because she hates the conductor, the following were shoved into the box all right after that other note.]

dynamic requests for the conductor to stop being aa

dynamic requests her cellphone back

dynamic requests fresh pasta

dynamic requests that dio be ordered to go shirtless 24/7

dyanmic requests something to sharpen the knives in the kitchen with

dynamic requests a swiss army knife

dynamic requests a smoothie

dynamic requests the fridge be stocked with coke

dynamic requests kaneki be given a hug

dynamic requests a picture of thor

dynamic requests a pet robot

dynamic requests that tea be outlawed

dynamic requests fridays be party night

dynamic requests that everyone be given a pet chicken

dynamic thinks you should have brought monica instead

dynamic is gonna keep doing this until you let her go

[antitrust]

Dynamic can be the change she wants to see, because most of these requests can be completed on her own, albeit with a little creativity on her part.

Enjoy your stay.

[zomgboom]

[In addition to these requests, Tabby also put ashes in the request box and a bunch of folded papers that contain rather colorful insults.]

can i have a video camera

the ballroom would be way cooler if we had a disco ball

dynamic still thinks quality of life would improve if dio was shirtless

logan said the pet chickens were a good idea can we have them if i make everyone agree

dynamic needs coke for medical reasons like EXTREME BOREDOM

please restock the matches there aren't any in the store room

also we're fresh out of gunpowder

think about it you could have brought monica and she'd be all responsible and but you chose me

hey can i have a blender so i can make my own smoothie

if we can't have chickens can i get a pony

dynamic requests party decorations

dynamic requests kaneki be given an ugly christmas sweater

you know those picture books with the gold can i get some for rakka she seems like she'd like those

yo can i get another school uniform

fight me

do you know the captain's real name

define murder

[antitrust]

Again, requests for necessities will be granted. Pet chickens do not currently fall under this sort of requirement, no matter how good an idea Sovereign thinks they are.

There will be more matches in the morning; have patience and try not to hoard them this time.

If you require another school uniform, I ask that you provide a valid reason as to why such a thing is necessary. That one may actually be granted if you require it.

I know the real names of several captains, but I can't say that I know which one you're referring to. Care to clarify?

Murder is defined as the premeditated killing of another proven sentient being. (Normally "the premeditated killing of another human," but I'm not going to discriminate against Dauntless and any others that may not satisfy that definition.)

[zomgboom]

[You, unfortunately, only get one request today, Conductor. It is shoved in the box hastily before the trial begins.]

you we all need therapy chickens

[antitrust]

[She'll get a response to this one as well, after the proceedings are over.]

Make a coherent argument for it and I'll see what can be done.

[zomgboom]

[There is, noticeably, no request for pet chickens or anything else on Saturday. But you do get a crazy assortment of . . . well. You know that "dumb ways to die" song? Yes. Tabby drew you a lot of pictures of stick figure Conductors dying. AREN'T YOU
BLESSED.

On Sunday, there are also no requests for chickens. She's luring you into a false sense of security - except for the part where she shoved more asinine requests into the box.]

shirtless dio

hey we're out of nails can we have more

i need a shelf for all the stuff i stole from the dead people

or another trunk if you only have those w/e

ashley needs a yoga mat so she can chill out i thinks she's gonna give herself a heart attack

would a heart attack count as a murder

oh right about the captain thing i mean THE captain you know the one on my team i just figure since you know all this stuff about us then you must be omni-whatever

why did kaneki get to keep his powers but i lost mine that's straight up dumb

wait does it have to do with murder CAN I HAVE MY POWERS BACK IF I MURDER SOMEONE WITH THEM

hey do you have the dead guy's room key logan wanted it

can i get clarification on the rule about sleeping like if logan was creepy and slept in the dead guy's room he wouldn't be punished right

can i order pizza through you

seriously can we get a disco ball it's so boring here

alcohol is necessary for my very bored brain

i need condoms for reasons

remember how i wanted another school uniform well it's fine but i need more underwear otherwise i'm just gonna go commando all the time in those maid outfits

do you have a crossdressing maid fetish is that why kaneki had all those maid costumes

cannibal crossdressing barista maid fetish OK OR WAS THAT THE DEAD GUY'S DEAL I MEAN

[antitrust]

The nails will be restocked, have patience.

Your request for somewhere to keep the deceased individuals' belongings will be granted by Tuesday.

A heart attack would not count as murder unless one of you deliberately induced the heart attack. Otherwise that would be some sort of accident or...I don't know, a medical emergency? I'm not sure how to classify that but it wouldn't be murder. (And for the sake of clarification, not saving someone who is having a heart attack doesn't count as murder either. It counts as questionable, should you know how and refuse to do so, but it isn't murder - there is no duty to rescue in the Academy.)

Acquiescent kept his particular abilities because they were inherent to his species. I can't speak for yours or be entirely certain what happened there, but it seems that when you were brought here the physiologically human individuals among here were rendered closer to the general accepted standard of human normal. That's the closest thing to an explanation I have at this time; I'm still looking into it.

Relentless' room key is in the mail room; Sovereign can retrieve it there.

You don't have to sleep in your own room if you don't want to. As long as you're sleeping in the dorms, it's acceptable.

...Do you seriously need condoms?

Your request for underwear will be granted by Tuesday.

[zomgboom]

[Still no chicken requests on Monday. It's almost like she's forgotten.

Except for, you know, that petition on the fridge.]

how did you get matches so fast but nails have taken like a week

do you really want to know if I need the condoms or not you should probably just give them to me

hey why is it that you're granting my request for a place to put the stuff i stole is that encouraged or something

ashley really does need like calm music or something she's SO UNCHILL i'm worried about her

so what are you wearing

why is it that you know some stuff and not other stuff like you know that some of these people are missing memories or whatever but you don't know about the biology thing

ok so i know you weren't gonna grant my request for a smoothie but can i have enough ice cream for everyone i feel like ice cream is a dessert that says "trust me"

you're not really the villain are you do you even want to be watching over us

i'm sorry i was rude to you last week but you know i was kind of upset and stuff and i'm still angry but i don't think i should be angry at you exactly

what do you get out of all this

i don't really understand what the point of this is anymore like I thought you were just some supervillain or something but you've been kind of nice to me

is that stockholm syndrome talking or are you really not all that bad

please help us

[antitrust]

Before I answer your question regarding why I'm allowing you to have somewhere to keep the deceased's belongings, may I ask you why you steal from the dead?

There are a lot of reasons why I don't know everything; I think the most relevant one is that I'm only human and only one person besides. I know a lot about a lot of things, but it's hardly realistic to think that I would know everything.

You don't have to apologize to me for being rude; I understand why such things have been happening. But the apology is noted and appreciated anyway.

Unfortunately, though, I can't help you.

[zomgboom]

[Ah. After that motive, she's a little annoyed at the Conductor, but she doesn't have it in her to make inane requests. Instead, the entire chicken petition has been shoved into the suggestions box.]

THE TRIBE HAS SPOKEN: GIVE US CHICKENS

also i steal stuff for different reasons like i stole kaneki's stuff b/c he's dead but i have his stuff so it's w/e but i stole reaver's stuff b/c he's a now answer my question

[antitrust]

I don't encourage theft, per se, but I encourage remembering the dead.

There will be something prepared for you on the lower floor by the end of the weekend.

[zomgboom]

[. . . You shouldn't have told her she might be getting chickens.]

when's the weekend????? IS IT NOW CAN IT BE NOW

you're my least disliked villain right now

oh hey are you still working on the nails i just wanted to make sure you didn't forget

also why did the one guy get beer but i asked for alcohol and you didn't give me any

oh!!! thx for the trunk and underwear btw it's good

how do i get more coins so i can put them in the machine and get more stuff