LETTERS

[antitrust]

If you have something to drop into the suggestion box, this is where it goes! Either shoot me a link to the comment/thread where it was done ICly, or comment directly with whatever it is you'd like to send off!

Comments screened for privacy; no reading each other's private mail without permission, after all.

Comments

[forcegalactic]

Dear Conductor,

Please do not listen to Dynamic's request for chickens, no matter how many names she gets on her petition. First off, they're unsanitary to keep indoors. Second, we don't have the supplies required for raising and feeding them.

If you're going to do it anyway, please put them in a pen. Maybe you consider that an inconvenience, but I and most of civilization consider it to be necessary when it comes to farming. Trust me, I live in a town with plenty of farmers, one of my best friends is a hypercattle rancher, and animals take up plenty of space.

I hope you really, really reconsider this.

Regards,

Universal

[antitrust]

Universal,

...I'm sorry, what?

Don't misunderstand me, I understand how chickens work, but it's more the assertion that there's some sort of legitimate petition for chickens floating around - exactly how many signatures does this request have affixed to it?

- Conductor

[forcegalactic]

Dear Conductor,

The last time I counted, there were fifteen, but judging from how everyone likes this idea, there's going to be more by the time she sends it to you. Even Logan Sovereign thinks it's a good idea.

I tried reasoning with her, but I don't think she'll ever change her mind until she gets that chicken.

Regards,
Universal

[antitrust]

Universal,

...If nothing else, I appreciate the advance warning. Check the refrigerator tomorrow.

- Conductor

[forcegalactic]

[On Wednesday, Mordecai sends a letter folded neatly in half with the words "THANK YOU" written in cursive on the outside. Common courtesy dictates that a thank you note be written to someone who sends a gift, even if they are the reason for your miserable situation. Rules are rules.]

Dear Conductor,

I would like to thank you for your generous gift of beer yesterday. It was something we all needed after the announcement, which I still do not appreciate in the slightest, but the timing could not have been better. I hope this kind of situation doesn't happen again.

Thank you,

Universal

P.S. I enjoyed the black croissant I got from the machine. Is there a recipe?

[antitrust]

Universal,

It wasn't a gift so much as it was that I believe in rewarding those who provide information for me, knowingly or not. If anything, I should be thanking you.

As for the croissant, I'm sure there's a recipe somewhere.

- Conductor